Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
bring money and cleavage
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I didn't notice because vodka
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
