Farmville is her only friend.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
