We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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