Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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