We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
