The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
