it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
