i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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