I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
