ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
COCAINE IS GR8
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
