I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
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