I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
