It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
