this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
