If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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