I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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