I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
