Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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