im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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