i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
