So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize