I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
