Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
His nipple licking is glorious
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