Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
