Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Randomize
