hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
