Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
