You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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