it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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