shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
