hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize