you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Randomize
