she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
