i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
how does that bad decision feel?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
