I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
