I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
