so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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