I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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