Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
