can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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