is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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