Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
