I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
