I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
