no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize