Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
