There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
