Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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