Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
