I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
