bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize