shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
