Tell her she can't have a vagina
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
