WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
