That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
