have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
