Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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