Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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