You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
