I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Randomize
