dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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