Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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