Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I love you.
Bad choice
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