I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
