I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
