I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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