Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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