So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
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