I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
